A lot of guys new to the game mistake it for something it’s not. Confidence is a tricky thing. Before game you may have a little to none. You read a couple of books here and there. Follow the right bloggers, learn a few things and your confidence starts to increase more. You go on a few dates get a couple of bangs and it increases even more. But it’s easy to mistake it to abuse it, to wear it all wrong. A lot of PUAs tell you to be confident because you know game. To just show up on a date and expect to get the girl just based on being an alpha. But that’s where a lot of guys fall into trouble. What is that annoys us the most about women? They show up and think their masters degrees make them the shit. Their high power careers some how translate to us wanting them. Guys shouldn’t think the same way. Don’t expect your game to work because you have a good job or money. Don’t get confidence from your clothes, your car or where you live. Don’t put confidence in material things or things that can be taken away from you or lost. If you know game and have a great job it’s natural to have tons of confidence and swagger. But what would happen if you lost that job or got fired and you tried to go out the next night and pick up girls? You’d still know the same amount of game as the day before yet how confident would you feel approaching women knowing you were broke or unemployed? I’ll be honest when I first started learning game i was intimidated by a lot of the women I went on date with. I often felt that I was out of my league. But as with most things the repetition is what led to true confidence. Real confidence comes from knowing I’ve been in that pick up situation before. I have the approaches under my belt I’ve said the words or something similar to them in the past. OR I’ve been on numerous dates that have gone well. I now feel that I expect and deserve that my interactions with women should go well. I’ve put in the work, I’ve taken the hits. I’m not better than the women I game but I’ve earned the right to be in the ring. For you new guys learning game, earn the real confidence. Approach approach approach. And when your done, approach some more. Never stop approaching. If you get a chance to go on a date take it. Eventually women will be able to tell that you’re used to talking and being around them.

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In fact, back in 2005, a study suggested that cell-phone usage can have a negative impact on stress levels and relationship satisfaction—and remember, this was two years before iPhones could suck you into a three-hour game of Angry Birds. So, your challenge this week? Make a pact with your partner to spend the weekend unwinding together…and then figure out how to make that actually happen. Hire a babysitter. Make sure that work project is finished up by Friday afternoon. Do a little housework during the week so you can skip it this weekend (…or just skip it entirely. We won’t tell). Then, when Friday night rolls around, unplug. Of course, the point of this exercise isn’t to bore you to death together—if you love watching a favorite show together or playing an online game, knock yourselves out. But keep the focus on time spent together, without the distraction of checking your emails in the middle of movie, without reaching for your cell phone the second you wake up, and without acting, however unintentionally, like your gadgets take priority. And the best part of having a few gadget-free hours this weekend? It may give you some extra time for another relationship reboot…like making a bucket list together, or crossing something off of it.

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Finally, the first date re-do also serves as a great time to think about how far you’ve come together. Don’t just reminisce about the details of the first date—where were you living during that time in your life? What kind of job did you have? Were you happy? What was your favorite hobby? And don’t worry if you now live across the country from your first date spot, or if that little Italian restaurant is now a laundromat—take that walk down memory lane over a load of laundry, or order in and recreate the date on your dining room table. As for the first kiss? It’s your call—I didn’t get one on our real first date, but I made sure to get it the second time around!

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When it comes to relationships—and to reigniting the spark—it’s the little things that count. Which is why, each week, we’ll share an easy way to reconnect with your significant other. No big-budget vacations or vow renewals required—just real-life ways to make the most of a weekend, an hour, or a commercial break. My first date with my boyfriend was simple: dinner at a local Thai restaurant, followed by a walk in the neighborhood and a shared cupcake on a park bench. Over a year later, we did it all over again—and it was even more fun the second time around. How can a date deja vu give your relationship a reboot? Well, first off, it’s almost impossible to avoid getting the warm-and-fuzzies about your partner as you recall the butterflies in your stomach that first time around, what you wore, and the first nervous chatter. It’s also a great opportunity to relive the first date…from your partner’s perspective. I loved hearing all of the details of my boyfriend’s first impressions of me—something you usually don’t outright ask about following the real first date.

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Relationship Reboot: Put Down the Laptop Tell me if this sounds like a familiar scenario in your home: you get back from work and turn on the TV while you make dinner. You and your significant other watch your favorite show while eating, then retreat to either side of the couch to finish up some work and answer a few emails. By the time you look up from your screens, you realize it’s almost time for bed. You check Twitter in bed before setting your phones down and turning off the light. If you’re like me, you probably find yourself feeling disconnected from your partner the more you’re connected to everything and everyone else on your downtime. Of course, life happens and it’s not always feasible to spend an entire evening looking deep into each other’s eyes, but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that staring at a little screen all night has an effect on your relationship.

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